Beautiful post. I lost my dad 39 years ago, more than half my lifetime ago. This post reminded me of the ways our Venn diagram merged. I needed that. Thank you.
Good morning, Dan. My apologies for the untimeliness of this response. I think you feel similarly when I say that losing your parents, and for me it's particularly true with my father, is tough to talk about. He was mysterious, yet he wasn't. Maybe because I understood him when others did not.
I lost my father 29 years ago and have now lived more than half my life without him - I'm only 55. I have spent all that time since then trying to figure out, well, everything. His passing gave me more understanding than any one event in my life. I am grateful for that, just not for the price of it.
I have tried my best to explain to people what it's like to lose my father when I did, just as I was starting my life out on my own. All the missed experiences and opportunities for both him and me. How do you explain moving forward while being able to live your life and make wonderful memories. You said it perfectly, Dan, so thank you ...
"We don’t actually move on from losing a parent, we just expand our life around the loss."
... and I have expanded it wonderfully. I'll always miss them both - think about them every day, my dad especially.
A favorite old recording that I play often: Duke Ellington Seattle Concert 1952, I finally found it on CD after all these years. That show contained the finest solos from the horn section of his band that I ever heard...and the drummer was Louis Bellson, inventor of the double kick. His solo on "Skin Deep" a highlight...and he wrote it!!
WOW! Absolutely loved the video. The musicians bodies just vibrated showing their love for music. Funny, odd funny, you really never saw women playing instruments in that time period. Maybe I am missing something as I do not have that much knowledge about the big band era.
Women very rarely had instrumental roles in the big band era, sadly. One notable exception was the Big Band Sweethearts of Rhythm. Otherwise, it was not considered lady like back then to be wailing on a Saxophone!
My parents were both born in 1921. Dad’s musical taste was a little bit classical and a lot of show tunes. Mom loved the popular music of the day: jazz! And swing! She shared that love with me. I haven’t listened to this video yet, but I can already hear it in my head. Anyone who can sit still and not at least tap their feet when Sing Sing Sing is played, especially by these masters, is certifiably dead!
Such a touching essay. I still have all my dad's Big Band tapes. He was a HUGE fan of Glenn Miller. Coincidentally, "Sing, Sing, Sing" appears in my upcoming novel.
"Sterling D. Weed announced the next song as “Sing, Sing, Sing,” but instead of a sing-along, the drums pounded out a primitive beat, seemingly of their own volition. The crowd cheered, and an explosion of brass blasted from the stage as the dancers flung themselves about the floor.
Paul’s eyes widened. He mouthed something, grabbed Hazel’s hand, and pointed behind him.
Outside, he kept hold of her hand and led her to the edge of the lake. “Jeezum. We coulda got killed in there.” He pointed to a large rock. “How about we listen from here?”
Now that she was no longer in danger of being kicked in the head or trampled to death, Hazel was perfectly content to listen to the rest of the song that seemed hell-bent on driving itself off a cliff."
Beautiful post. I lost my dad 39 years ago, more than half my lifetime ago. This post reminded me of the ways our Venn diagram merged. I needed that. Thank you.
My father also passed away a long time ago. Our Venn diagram merged through boating and fishing.
My dad took me fishing too! But I always hated it, haha, I went though cause I wanted to do stuff with him!
Which ways Paul? I'd be interested in hearing about him.
Good morning, Dan. My apologies for the untimeliness of this response. I think you feel similarly when I say that losing your parents, and for me it's particularly true with my father, is tough to talk about. He was mysterious, yet he wasn't. Maybe because I understood him when others did not.
I lost my father 29 years ago and have now lived more than half my life without him - I'm only 55. I have spent all that time since then trying to figure out, well, everything. His passing gave me more understanding than any one event in my life. I am grateful for that, just not for the price of it.
I have tried my best to explain to people what it's like to lose my father when I did, just as I was starting my life out on my own. All the missed experiences and opportunities for both him and me. How do you explain moving forward while being able to live your life and make wonderful memories. You said it perfectly, Dan, so thank you ...
"We don’t actually move on from losing a parent, we just expand our life around the loss."
... and I have expanded it wonderfully. I'll always miss them both - think about them every day, my dad especially.
A favorite old recording that I play often: Duke Ellington Seattle Concert 1952, I finally found it on CD after all these years. That show contained the finest solos from the horn section of his band that I ever heard...and the drummer was Louis Bellson, inventor of the double kick. His solo on "Skin Deep" a highlight...and he wrote it!!
I'll look it up!
WOW! Absolutely loved the video. The musicians bodies just vibrated showing their love for music. Funny, odd funny, you really never saw women playing instruments in that time period. Maybe I am missing something as I do not have that much knowledge about the big band era.
Women very rarely had instrumental roles in the big band era, sadly. One notable exception was the Big Band Sweethearts of Rhythm. Otherwise, it was not considered lady like back then to be wailing on a Saxophone!
My parents were both born in 1921. Dad’s musical taste was a little bit classical and a lot of show tunes. Mom loved the popular music of the day: jazz! And swing! She shared that love with me. I haven’t listened to this video yet, but I can already hear it in my head. Anyone who can sit still and not at least tap their feet when Sing Sing Sing is played, especially by these masters, is certifiably dead!
You'll love it! My dad was totally a church choir and Polka guy LOL Like you, my mom was the swinger and pop music fan!
Such a touching essay. I still have all my dad's Big Band tapes. He was a HUGE fan of Glenn Miller. Coincidentally, "Sing, Sing, Sing" appears in my upcoming novel.
Oh really! Tell us more about it!
Here you go!
"Sterling D. Weed announced the next song as “Sing, Sing, Sing,” but instead of a sing-along, the drums pounded out a primitive beat, seemingly of their own volition. The crowd cheered, and an explosion of brass blasted from the stage as the dancers flung themselves about the floor.
Paul’s eyes widened. He mouthed something, grabbed Hazel’s hand, and pointed behind him.
Outside, he kept hold of her hand and led her to the edge of the lake. “Jeezum. We coulda got killed in there.” He pointed to a large rock. “How about we listen from here?”
Now that she was no longer in danger of being kicked in the head or trampled to death, Hazel was perfectly content to listen to the rest of the song that seemed hell-bent on driving itself off a cliff."
Thank you Dan, for sharing this memory and making it a part of your friend and my shared memories! This one is for our Dads!
Amen, Brother!
All the way man, thoughts with you!