Feeling a Bit Too Mortal Today

Squeezing It All In

A moment to talk about loss.

A friend sent me a link from original Beatle Pete Best announcing his retirement from music and from his band. If you’ll recall, I went to see him at the Tupelo in Derry just a couple weeks ago. Turns out that show was one of his last. (I think second last.)

First, I’m so glad I ended up going. This is someone I’d wanted to see for years and years. He’d been touring with his band since the 80s.

Here’s a link to the story on the show: Pete Best at Tupelo

But this isn’t actually about Pete. For some reason, learning that he was retiring made me really sad. Just the thought that I was one of the last to see him perform live, that there’s so much history there and that I really debated whether or not to go take the couple hours and see him.

The time we live in feels… I don’t quite know how to describe what I’m feeling - let’s say, more impermanent than usual. Learning of his retirement only 14 days after I saw him felt like a door closing - like there’s no going back now. I was lucky that in the end I took advantage and went. But this made me feel down about the things I didn’t do. The artists I missed. The food I haven’t tried. The time spent away from the things that matter.

Weird, right? I’m overthinking. Over feeling?

I dunno. I’m usually fairly comfortable with mortality. Normally, I find it all empowering.

But today, at home, I stuck more closely than usual to the ladies. Let the dishes wait till tomorrow. Went and brought Little Bean a snack. Petted the dog more vigorously than usual.

All over a British drummer retiring after 65 years.

But it’s not about the drummer, is it? It’s about squeezing everything you can out of your life. Go see that band. Stop at that restaurant you’ve been driving by. Take the kid for ice cream.

What will you do today to be present? To be alive?