What's Your Approach?

Ask, Don't Demand

In the parking lot of the Market Basket, two kids on beat up bikes skid to a stop next to me near my car.

The one with raggedy, curly red hair says, “Hey mister, give us a buck and we’ll help you load your groceries.”

I pause for a beat. “Does this ever work?” I ask.

They look puzzled.

“This approach. Does this ever work? Like, what’s your strategy here?”

They look at each other. They don’t know what to say.

I make a big show of sighing. “What’s your names?”

Curly haired kid is Dylan. Sidekick is David.

I grill them. Where do you live? What school you go to? How else do you try to make money?

They live nearby, each goes to a different elementary school, they are fourth graders. And they also try to make money shoveling snow and cutting grass. Standard stuff, but what’s important here is they haven’t just become fed up with me and rolled away. They are engaging in conversation.

So I ask the big question. “What are you raising money for?”

“A go-cart!” They both say this at once. I must say that’s a bit unexpected but I can work with it.

So I start my lecture. “Ok, so here’s the deal. You two roll up to me in a random parking lot asking for money, and I’m like ‘Ugh, kids, what now?’ But I’m a middle-aged dude. You try this with a lady or maybe a mom with a little kid and they are going to be suspicious or maybe even scared. Get what I’m saying?”

Dylan nods. “I guess.”

“Right, so improve your approach. Repeat after me. ‘Hi, I’m Dylan and this is my friend David.’”

Blank stare.

“Say it,” I tell him, so he does.

“Now say this: ‘We’re saving our money to buy a go-cart and we were wondering if you’d be interested in letting us help you load your groceries for a buck or two.’”

They both repeat the words, getting it pretty close.

“Manners. Make an ask, not a demand. Understand?”

“Yes,” Dylan says. “I think so,” says David.

I nod. “Ok, load up my groceries.”

It takes them two minutes and I give them each two bucks.

“Good job guys, thanks.”

They haul off, and over his shoulder, David says, “Have a nice day.”

Kids these days… I hope they get their go-cart.

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