Transcendental Dad

My Column Takes Home Best in NH Award

A couple days ago, at the local super market, I came upon a couple yelling at a little girl. On the floor at her feet was a smashed jar of jam. She was, perhaps, six or seven. She was sobbing.

I assumed that the two adults were her parents. The woman was saying, “How many times do I have to tell you to be careful.” The man was saying, “Go ahead and cry, see if I care.”

Imagine telling a sobbing child you don’t care that they’re sobbing.

I had no insight into what was really happening, no ability to discern what they were going through or what actually led to their collective meltdowns. There’s little recourse when you come upon something like that. I wanted to hug her. That was my first response. That would have caused her far more trouble, I’m sure. So I went my way.

What I do know from my limited and shaky understanding of parenting, is that whatever was happening there had nothing to do with a jar of jam.

I mention this encounter because it was later that same day that my editor at Manchester Ink Link sent me some good news. For the second year in a row my serialized column, Transcendental Dad, has won the New Hampshire Press Association’s Columnist of the Year award!

Last year’s plaque sits proudly in my office. I’m thrilled to make it 2 years in a row!

I am, of course, deeply honored and, as usual, surprised when my writing wins such awards. The big association banquet is in a couple weeks. Manchester Ink Link won several awards in several catagories!

Transcendental Dad, which also runs in several other state-wide media such at Go Monadnock and Parent Express, was the result of my wanting to continue writing about my parenting journey after the publication in 2020 of my collection of essays on the first five years of my daughters life. Titled “You & Me: Reflections on Becoming Your Dad,” the book was published in the middle of the pandemic and went nowhere, so I’m grateful that the column has been able to receive some notoriety.

These two things happening at once felt weighty. But not because I feel I’m excelling as a parent. (I’ll address that in a bit.) Rather, because I want to leave something behind. For her. Just for her. For Little Bean.

I’ve wanted to write about my parenting journey because it’s been the only way I know how to explore and discover; the only way I’ve been able to sort through my feelings about being a dad and to try to leave some kind of paper trail for her. That is, should she someday be interested in reading about what was going on in my head during these early years.

So I’m happy and honored that I won. I’m grateful to all my editors, in particular in this case the talented Carol Robidoux, who for some reason saw something special in these philosophical, navel-gazing takes on parenting and basically let me write about whatever I please. And it’s neat that readers like you appear to find some comfort or humor or warmth in the columns as well.

Now, one final mention. I like being a dad. Being a dad, to me, feels important. Maybe the most important. But enjoying fatherhood is not the same as excelling at fatherhood. In that regard, I feel anxious and uncertain. I’m rarely confident and often second guess decisions.

Recently, I made a point of pulling a bunch of books out of the library that Little Bean had asked for and someone remarked that I was such a “good dad.” I’m bad at receiving compliments, I know, but so much of what I try to do - and what I try to write about in my columns - is everyday living.

Nothing special. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just being present enough to know what books she’s reading. Just understanding that screaming at a kid in public for breaking a jam jar will accomplish nothing.

That’s not special. That’s basic. Understanding that is the least I can do.

At any rate, thanks for joining me on this little journey and on this week long celebration of some fun writerly things that are happening. Please check below for some links to my big Littleton Opera House event on Wednesday and feel free to click the link to my bookstore as well.

You’re all the best!

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Housekeeping: Let’s begin with the big event on Wednesday, May 24 at 6pm at Littleton Opera House (NH) sponsored by NH Humanities. This is a free event but registration is required. We’ll talk about Mount Washington, writing on the road and whatever else comes up. I’d love to see you there. Here’s that link: Stories of Place, Mount Washington.

Moving on, if you’d like to read some of my Transcendental Dad columns, you can click the links above and give my media publishers some love. They are all wonderful and hard working. Tell them I sent ya! You can do the same should you be interested in checking out my book, You & Me: Reflections on Being Your Dad. Click here for my bookstore: Books by Dan.

Finally, as always, writing requires coffee. This is a scientifically proven fact and I’m not one to dispute science. So, if you enjoy these little scribblings and deem me worthy of a cup of coffee, you can buy me one right here: Buy Dan a Coffee and Keep Him Awake

Thanks for your time and atention everyone. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the Little Opera House and try to figure out how to fill a 400 capacity theatre! Till then, please share, subscribe and stay cool. Onward!