Things I've Said to My Dog

And Will Say Them Again No Doubt

Things I’ve said to my dog

Oh my God, you have spiders all over you

How did you get in there?

How did you get out of there?

Please let that go

You can’t have chocolate

You can’t have garlic

I thought you liked watermelon

Where’s your mother?

You need a bath, get in the water

No, stay out of the water!

What did you just throw up?

There’s nobody out there

What did you put under my bed?

Who’s a good boy? You are, yes you are!

Please don’t pee on the flag