The Ghost of Plug One

And Other Mysterious Happenings

My daughter beleives our home looks like this.

The prevailing wisdom among the elementary school set at our house is that the dog can see ghosts. In fact, all dogs can. Ours just sees more, because there are more ghosts in our house than anywhere else.

So says my eight year old. For example, there is the ghost that lives upstairs in the attic. The attic is really more of a crawl space built over the top of the house when the carport was converted into a garage. The space can only be reached by a pull down ladder in the garage and is the sole, exclusive territory of me alone. The ladies want nothing to do with that space. Neither would I if not for our whole house fan living up there which needs to be opened and closed every season.

My daughter calls the ghost that lives up there the Dust Ghost, for obvious reasons. The Dust Ghost, and indeed all the ghosts at our home, are thus far at least, friendly. And while I’m reasonably certain the Dust Ghost is nothing more than scurrying mice, my daughter insists otherwise.

“If it’s so dusty up there,” I ask Little Bean, “why does he not live someplace else in the house?”

“Because that’s HIS place.”

“But is he, like, stuck there?”

My eight-year-old looks at me like she’s a fourteen-year-old. “The rest of the house is taken.”

By this she means we also have a ghost in the basement. The Basement Ghost. This is the ghost that prevents her from cleaning the kitty litter box or picking up her toys down there. He’s a very annoying ghost and apparently likes messes.

But the most puzzling ghost of them all is the Ghost of Plug One. This ghost, which is perhaps more of a poltergeist, has one specific job - to turn on the dining room lamp randomly and at all hours of the day and night. That lamp is plugged into Alexa and timed to go off and on at night for a couple hours, or when we’re not at home.

To Alexa, that’s Plug One. But the Ghost of Plug One is not to be boxed into mere timer settings. Oh no. That lamp turns on and off at random, whenever the Ghost of Plug One pleases. This is a very particular ghost, with one job, to turn that lamp on. That’s it.

“Alexa,” I say to Alexa, “turn off the timer to Plug One.”

“There are no timers set for Plug One,” Alexa says pleasantly.

“Alexa, disconnect from Plug One.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Two seconds later the lamp turns on.

We have some options of course. Disconnect the lamp at the wall. Remove the light bulb. Throw the lamp into recycling. Sell the house and move to Albuquerque. You know, standard haunting reactions.

Instead we’ll just live with our ghosts. It’s fine. Better than the weird red eyes the kids insist they see in the basement window of the house down the street, or the strange trees that they say toss pebbles in the back yard pool across from us.

Our ghosts are benevolent. And as long as the dog is fine with them, they can stay.

That lamp though… well, time will tell.