Keep On Lifting Me Higher
November 2 2023 Day Two
I heard a saying the other day: The first time your child is able to lift you up is the last time you’re able to lift them up.
This was on my mind recently as I carried Little Bean to bed one night and basically felt what seemed like every muscle in my back protesting. The second thought I had was that I complain too much about getting old.
Where’s all the Zen mindful acceptance I talk all the time about? This organic sand dial I call my daughter is bringing out my worst impulses - desperation in the face of the passage of time.
So, today, let’s pull back. Mindfulness must be a conscious choice, remember. Yes, she’s getting big, but that’s normal. Yes, there will be a time when I won’t be able to carry her around, but that’s normal. Yes, my knees and my back are garbage, but that’s normal and within my power to at least try to make them less garbage.
But what will replace all that then? What is the moving forward action item here to settle my anxiety.
Well, as she gets older, she’s becoming more interested in reading and music. Hey, those are things I like too!
I can’t wrestle so much with her anymore, but she has an interest in gymnastics and can perform a pretty darn good cartwheel, and look at that, we have a nice backyard where she can practice and I can cheer her on.
Conforming MYSELF to attend to and support the person she’s becoming - even if that means she moves away from me - has been challenging. But I can do it.
And someday, she’ll come back and lift me up and it will all be worth it.
Yes, things change as life moves on. Maybe you won't be able to carry her to bed at some point, but you'll still be able to put your arm around her shoulders and guide her there through a sleepy haze. Her life may become fuller of other people and things, but she'll always need you.
Interesting thoughts Dan. I will always be close to my son but the relationship changes as they grow up, developing interests that aren't necessarily yours. They make friends...you become a little less part of their world. I found the dynamics of the family changed greatly when they learn to drive and have their license. It didn't change in a negative way though. Assuming that driving responsibility is part of maturing, you also see them less and less......and less......then it's off to college!!