Halloween Days, P2

We Continue A Look Back, And Ahead, At This Haunting Time

Today, we continue our exploration of this spooky time of year with a look at one of my favorite essays. A shortened version of this was published way back in 2019. But today, we present the full, glorious version - a ode to witches and candy and being the true you. We hope you enjoy, and hope you had a truly memorable Halloween!

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Tell a joke, get a treat!

GIVE ‘EM ALL THE CANDY THEY WANT! (2019)

Today is candy day, baby. Well, technically it was at night, last week, but the city got spooked by a lousy weather report of rain that never happened and… here we are. Sunday afternoon.

But you know what, who cares? The streets of our neighborhood are surging with kids, teens, and a lot of adults. The weather is mild, the traffic light and we find ourselves walking right in the middle of the street at times. You are holding hands with your little friend, Oscar, each of you leaning into your heavy candy bags.

There’s a lot happening here today, but let me start with a proclamation – today, on this day, when the veil between the living and the dead is the thinnest, when the bonfires are lit to ward of spirits, when the shadow of Samhain drifts over our modern streets, there’s only one rule – give ‘em candy.

A little kid wants two smarties and not one? Let them have it. A teenager wearing a Freddie mask desperately holding on to a sliver of childhood? Candy for them! Bedraggled parents with sore feet looking for a Milky Way sugar rush to get them through the night? Here’s a full-sized bar for you!

How beautiful then – traditions aside – to have a day when you can knock on a stranger’s door and be given a sweet. How human, and lovely, and funny. This night isn’t about growing up or not. It’s about making people happy. And if someone can be made happy with a Tootsie Roll, give them out in handfuls.

(As an aside, the same goes for other holidays. Why complain if someone puts their Christmas tree up on the day after Halloween. Why complain if they leave their lights up all year long. Let people be happy!)

Meanwhile, you work the candy trade like a champ. You wore your Super Girl outfit to the school party to great effect – the only girl super in a wave of princesses. But today, at the last moment, you decided to slip into your dino wrangler outfit, a gift from your aunt. A wise choice, baby. The outfit is warmer than Super Girl and ratcheted the adorable level to 11.

No ghost, witch or ghoul is impervious to your charm. Near a beat down fence, a guy dressed like Michael Myers bends over and lets you take a picture with him. Near a front porch covered with pumpkins, a fog machine growls awake and you float through that mist like you have high beams.

And up high on a porch, a witch sits surrounded by spiders. When you approach, she cackles and says, “No one gets my candy without telling me a joke!”

You don’t even hesitate. “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Hmmmm,” says the witch, “why?”

“To get to the other side!” You scream the answer like a spell, triumphantly. I’m terribly proud. You get a handful of candy for remembering one of the oldest jokes in modern times. Did you know, baby, that that joke has been dated back to an issue of New York City’s Knickerbocker Magazine from 1847. You told a joke from the same year “Wuthering Heights” was published and Thomas Edison was born.

At the same time that you are drifting in the wake of a 19th century anti-joke, you are also carrying on in the realm of the existential. The modern culture philosopher who goes by the curious name Epicurus of Albion, writes that Halloween allows for the most direct example of adopting an identity that one is not.

You are no longer a little girl, but rather Super Girl and everyone identifies you as such, and in return you express the characteristics of your new identity. You are no longer a little girl inside dinosaur costume, but rather you are literally riding a dinosaur.

“On Halloween, the social norm grants them to have the freedom to be something other than their ordinary selves,” Epicurus writes. “Clothing their person as a fictional character offers them the freedom to forget themselves, a break from vocations, respite from anxieties and even freedom away from their own names!”

Tomorrow, sadly, were you to go to school in a Batman costume, society would suspect there was something wrong. How depressing. But I digress.

The day marches on, the same day that we have set our clocks back so daylight is fleeting. Even by mid-afternoon, the first hints of evening start to creep in and the kids slow down. You eat a Milk Dud for the first time. We discover a house giving away full sized Snickers bars, like hitting the lottery. And finally, as the day wanes, we discover your limitation when a man comes to the door dressed as a frog but wearing a Creature from the Blue Lagoon mask.

“Uh, daddy, do you want to see him closer?” you ask. So, we go up to that door together.

Before long, you’re ready to head home, even a dinosaur’s feet get tired eventually. How many of these days do you and I have left, baby. Six? Eight? Not many. You and I walk hand in hand back to our home, back to our routine, back to who we really are – one more day closer to the spirits.

But as we approach the door, you notice our next-door neighbor still on her porch, a bucket of treats at the ready. She sees you and smiles. You look at me.

“Go on!” I say. My baby dinosaur, my authentic child, my benevolent spirit.

Tomorrow, we explore real ghosts with the story of The Ghost Whisperer. We hope you join us for some real frights, and help us spread the word!