A Modest Proposal For Taylor Swift

Swifties Would Make Perfect Library Patrons

In light of yesterday’s drop of the new Taylor Swift album (or is it a double album, or is there an extra album, honestly, I have no idea) I wondered what would happen if she wrote a song about how awesome libraries are.

Or if she tweeted something like, “Hey Swifties, I’m super excited because I just renewed my library card! #librariesrock!”

I have no idea if she has a library card, but her newest album is about poets or something, right? There’s a mention of Dylan Thomas even in one of the songs.

Would a tidal wave of Swifties come rushing into the library, all wide-eyed and curious about this strange place? Would regular library patrons start grumbling about Swifties staying in their lane and to stop disturbing their reading?

What if she dated a librarian? Not me, yuck. You know, just in general. What would the New York Post say about that? Something to do with nerds no doubt.

What if she did for libraries what she did for football? During budget season, would I have a roomful of teens and twenty-something Taylor Swift fans holding signs that said things like “Give my library more comfortable chairs” or “Increase the supplies budget line!”

Believe it or not, there IS a phenomenon in libraries called Patron Groupies, and if you work at a library, you know what I’m talking about. I’ll write about that next time.

For now, well, yet another pop culture tsunami has passed by your humble library. But we do have a bunch of biographies on Taylor Swift, as well as Dylan Thomas. (Actually, check that, we may not have him at my library, but darn it I can get you a copy from some other library!)

And I think some of my staff are Swifties, maybe? So, you know, come talk to us about her. Or about music. Or poetry. Yeah, that’s it! Poetry. I can go on and on about that.

After all, it was Dylan Thomas himself who said, “Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.” So maybe we still have a chance, maybe someday Taylor will pop her head into a library.

And Taylor Swift herself said, “Anytime someone tells me that I can’t do something, I want to do it more.”

Taylor, if you’re reading this, you absolutely, definitely can’t promote libraries to your fans. Nope. No way. Forget I even mentioned it!